Michael Pollan, in his now-famous book ‘This is Your Mind on Plants’, experiments with going without caffeine for a few days. He describes mornings without caffeine as having a shroud of fog over his brain, impeding normal functioning.

To experience this myself, I tried going without caffeine in any form for a few days. The best I could last was two days until I found it affecting my work, research, and, more importantly, my relationship with my wife. This made me realize how dependent I have become on this seemingly benign psychoactive substance, whose consumption and dependence have become a baseline expected way of life, at least in the USA. Alcohol and caffeine are two exogenous psychoactives whose consumption, and in many cases, dependence, don’t elicit much public reaction. Instead, people often judge you if you say you don’t consume either or neither of them. Somehow, the person who doesn’t consume these drugs is seen as a heretic.

This interesting status quo got me thinking: who do we consider an addict? We know those on ‘hard’ drugs are labeled as such. The media is full of stories showing the lengths people go to satisfy their cravings for potent drugs. But what about some of the more inconspicuous forms of addiction? What about those who are addicted to approval, attention, and appreciation from others? What lengths do people go to, who are addicted to fame, success, money, power, and prestige? The first example that comes to mind is the absurd ‘pranks’ and ‘hacks’ people undertake to gain social media clout. But what about people in organizations or in our personal lives who crave approval and attention? How often does this addiction interfere with intellectual honesty or the benefit of society?

For those of us addicted to external validation, our happiness is in the hands of external circumstances. Often, money, fame, and following don’t fill the pit of despair and loneliness we feel; so what is the use of this addiction? To move beyond this dependence, we must stop viewing others as means to satisfy our addiction—so no one has the power to make us happy. Patience, compassion, and communing with oneself might be ways to balance this.